The importance of reviews

We call girls, much like actresses, get reviews of our performance. The reviews serve two purposes. The first purpose is for the reviewer (almost always a man) to display his conquest. Yes, he's proud of the fact that he paid for sex and actually think that someone out there cares where and how he used his "magic stick" on the subject girl. Now this statement doesn't encompass all the men; but a large percentage of them. The second reason for reviews is the most important reason. Because we don't discuss sex acts for money, reviews are a way of showing what we will or won't do. It is suppose to avoid the awkward questions like "Do you do A-levels?" (anal sex) "Do you participate in water sports?" (Golden showers) . Now for the bad part- Once the reviews are up they can't be changed. So if someone writes a review with inaccurate information, that's it...no taking it back.

Enter the great, but inaccurate review I just received. I'm still not sure who wrote it. The handle doesn't ring a bell. The review over all was fantastic; however it had its inaccuracies. It lists me shorter than I am with a different hair color. It even has the wrong email address for contacting me. So some poor girl somewhere is probably getting some pretty interesting emails. Now comes the worst part... Every reviews requires you to answer some information...like what type of blow job you give, how you kiss, if you do A-levels, etc. Well this review got something SERIOUSLY wrong. It says I do BBBJCIMWS (bareback blow job cum in mouth with swallow) I have NEVER done that with a client. So I wrote the site administrator asking for it to be removed. Chances are they won't but I have to at least try.....

Pay up bitch....

Last week I had a 1st time client that lost his wallet. Now since the money situation is a sensitive issue, I generally don't ask for it until the end and the envelope hasn't been presented yet. The client owes me $600 for the session and he's been in contact with me since the appointment. Getting together with him for the money has been problematic because schedule is crazy and when I available he takes his sweet time getting back with me. Well today was the final straw! I'm a passive aggressive person so I've been REALLY nice about this. At this point, I want my fucking money and I don't care if I have get all Tony Soprano on him, I will get it.

I emailed the client about meeting tomorrow for breakfast because I'm leaving for another town tomorrow afternoon.

"I have some time to meet for breakfast tomorrow" I emailed

"Are you cooking?" client replies

He thinks he's being funny; but I don't fuck with money and don't find this cute at all!!!

"No, I'm better at cooking dinner" I reply not realizing he would take this as an invitation.

"Well then I'll take dinner" he emailed

Now I'm fucking pissed..... "Well I'm going to start charging interest"

"Alright, that will be McDonald's Dollar Menu for you then."

I'm ready to blow a gasket at this point!!!

"Don't worry I'm use to it since I'm BROKE!!!" hopefully he would get the point.

Well several hours later, I still don't have a response....I'm plotting my revenge....

The Scam....

Well its finally happened...I've been scammed and not only was it myself but another call girl as well. It all started with a phone call. Nice southern sounding guy, he knew the right names to say and had a voice that put me to ease. I verified his references and we set up an appointment for 11am yesterday. Now sometimes, in order to save money, another girl and I will share a room when our schedule permit. We like to stay in upscale locations, so sharing helps defer the cost. Yesterday was such a day. M (as we will call her here) had a 9am appointment for only an hour. This would give me plenty of time before my 11am to get ready and change out the bed linens, etc.

I received a call that morning from my client saying that he was in town early and was going to do some furniture shopping. (Note: missed hint this guy was a loser- What furniture store is open before 9am?) I got myself together and headed to the hotel where I parked and waited for M to give me the all clear. Then out of nowhere I get a full frontal flash of M as she frantically looks out the window and waves me in. I get in the room and she explains how she just got stiffed by her client. Ms first time ever getting stiffed.

I take a minute to console her and then phone my client. When I told him the room number, he said "that's M's room". I had an appointment with the same guy that just stiffed M. After several times of calling him back with no answer, we developed a plan for a set up. It will involved my former agent who got ripped off by the same guy, M, myself and the loss of four good tires. The man lives over 2 hours away so getting home with no tires will be rather difficult. They always say vengeance is dish best served cold. Well, I say don't fuck with a ho and her money!!!

Everyone's a closet ho...

I watched a HBO documentary on SW. One of the "ladies" stated that most women are closet hos. Whether you fuck for money, fuck for dinner or fuck for a nice future, you are a ho. Be it the Housewives of (insert show geography here) or the poor college kid just trying to get a nice meal, we are all whores in life. Some women are just smart enough to exploit the fact that men think with their penis more often than their brain. (read $$$$)

Escorts don't provide an opportunity to cheat. Trust me, there are just as many horny women out there willing to give it up for free. What we do offer (in most cases and for a price) is the opportunity for a man to be with a woman out of his league or more open minded in bed. While I won't do "everything", I offer way more than what they are getting at home. Additionally, there are some men that just love variety. One day its big boobs, the next super skinny. I wonder if that's what the author was thinking when the phrase "Variety is the spice of life" was coined....food for thought :)

The offer....

I met with a first time client today. During the meeting he made an offer to me. The exclusivity of me in exchange for a townhome on the water and $7k a month. Now almost ALL clients lie to you and I have no trust in them until proven wrong. As a call girl, you hear everything and the more we discuss things in the ho support group the less faith in my clients I have.

Back to the offer. While this is a VERY nice offer I just don't know if I can do it. Am I crazy? I'm really starting to think so. Adam is a very nice, intelligent and decent looking guy. He could probably use to lose about 30lbs; but otherwise very nice. I've been reveling over the proposition in mind. I would live by myself in said townhome and all expenses would be paid. The 7k would be for my bills and spending money. With that said, I wouldn't be allowed to date anyone and would be required to have sex with him whenever he wanted. Additionally, all the hard work I put into going independent will be for nothing because I will have to take everything down and lose my clients.

I have another friend who is also a call girl. This deal would be her dream. Somehow its not mine. I know my clients...you give them an inch and they take a mile. Taking this offer would be a huge sign of trust on my part and trust to someone I DON'T know. This is my only source of income and at any moment he could take that money away from me and then what? I feel like this is dangerous territory. I think if I took the offer, my life would no longer be my own. Decisions, Decisions...

The long awaited post...

Since my last post (the break up), I've been busy setting up as an independent, suffering a mini-emotional breakdown and finding out I have the best friends a girl could as for.
Going independent was not as easy as I thought it would be. Its more time consuming than difficult and screening everyone is a nightmare. But this is the price I pay to have a say in who I see and when I see them. I've been weeding through emails of people who either think this is Match.com and wanting freebies or true prospective clients.

Finding the right prospective client is really hard. Ideally you want a regular. Surprisingly, sleeping with the least amount of people for the most amount of money is the goal of this job. Sometimes you get actual pleasure from sleeping with someone and other times its a true job. A client that tips is also nice. We had a talk at the ho support group the other day about tipping. I see a wide variety of clients, some extremely wealthy and some that had to save their change to come see me. On average its the blue collar workers that tip the most often, and in some way it means more that they tipped because you know just how hard they worked for it.

Well back to grind...literally ;)

The break up....

Well it happened. My agent and I broke up, or at least our parting seems that way. Its been a long time coming and I have absolutely NO hard feelings about how things have turned out. He's a great guy who afforded me an opportunity that I might not have realized was out there. However, dealing with my agent is a bit tricky. He has a big ego, so you have to tread with care. Everything has to appear to be is idea and although I really need his help, I practically beg for his wealth of knowledge. Those that know me, know I'm a no nonsense kind of girl. I'm direct, straight to the point and will typically not kiss ass. I'm a passive A type personality. This gets me in more trouble than not with clients. Today was an exception. I need my agents help and truth be told, we actually need each other.

Now, I'm beginning the daunting task of starting essentially my own business. Its going to be a long road ahead and I have to do it in a short amount of time. Meetings, Meetings, Meetings....

When the sexual lines get blurry....

Although I'm not looking for anything right now in the relationship department, I actually went on a first date. It was filled with all the questions I generally avoid. Last night laying in bed, I played out how this would go, how I would answer certain questions. Surprisingly, it went well. Let's face it, any amount of time in this industry and you're the queen of self avoidance and conversation turning without them even noticing. Aside from dinner, this was surprisingly like work except for the end. It felt so weird leaving, never having taken off my clothes and had sex. Work is so much easier....I know what is expected of me!!!

On another note...Damn, Washington D.C.! This is pretty messed up!!
Apparently if a woman is stopped by police in a D.C. "Prostitution Free Zone" and is carrying three or more condoms on her, she could be arrested for prostitution!!!!
Both New York City and San Francisco have followed suit with the 'three condoms and you're out' law, which not only is unfortunate for those gals who aren't sex workers, it also promotes unsafe sex for those who are! Not okay! Our ladies should be allowed to keep themselves safe from STDs no matter what! Wonder what I'd be charged with for my 40 count box of condoms???

Manage your manager....

I had lunch with some of the agency girls today. We all haven't heard from our agent for several days and were discussing our theories on what happened. That's one of the downfalls of an agency, we are constantly looking to our agent for the work. Its one of the reasons I'm considering going independent. I need more control over my own schedule. For example, right now I'm suppose to be in a city several hours away; but because of the lack of communication I'm still sitting at home...with no work. A friend of mine aways says "Don't fuck with my money." I can see her point. Sometimes it feels as if I'm managing my manager.
As we sat at lunch we all expressed interest in going independent and getting in touch...sort of an agency of independents if you will. My independent associations are all set. All I need is new pics and the balls to actually do it. Keeping my fingers crossed!!!

Why I love my job...

I occasionally see someone personally for ..well..sex. Its good, not great, but good. Very vanilla and at the least hint of kink he goes running. Enter my job, where nothing is taboo unless the client says it is. I thought I was open sexually; but this job has brought it to a whole new level. Dominance, strap on, anal play... you name it, I've tried it and I can choose whether or not to do so again. Its a fantasy world of sorts. I can play out a fantasy without actually affecting any "real world" relationships. God knows I don't want the awkwardness of a fantasy gone wrong with someone I'll actually see again.

On another note, I watched the season 3 Secret Diary of a Call Girl previews. Very interesting and I'm looking forward to the show beginning again. Believe it or not, I learned most everything from Belle....God love that ho.

I would never....

You always hear people say I would never do this or I would never do that. Example someone once said I would never become a prostitute. Well, I would never be a stripper. As weird as it sounds, what goes on behind closed doors is easier to deal with than being paraded in front of men. At least with my profession there is some element of control and somewhat less sleaziness. I know, it defies all logic but just my 2 cents. Besides, I've never been a good dancer. Every now and then I'll have a client ask me to dance for them to which I reply I don't dance. I tend to look more like a chicken having a seizure than a seductress. It would really ruin the mood.

Rule #1: Know your limitations

I've learned that we can't be all things to all people. Some girls are just gifted in ways that I am not. Mostly in the Greek perspective if you get my drift. I've often wondered what doing that would do to my business; but then I've decided life's too short to compromise.
Business has been a bit slow lately. I'm sure its just due to the holidays and getting back to working schedules. The other day I had so many days off I thought I was a virgin again. And so, enter traveling. Will start next week...fun times ahead!!!

The ho support group

Yesterday some of the girls and I got together for coffee. This was affectionately dubbed the ho support group and in a way its true. This business can somewhat cut you off from the rest of the society. Example, I meet a hot guy at the bar and generally one of the first questions out of his mouth is "So what kind of work are you in?" Sometimes, just for kicks, I tell them I'm a prostitute to which they generally laugh and ask me what I REALLY do. Another case in point, when your friends are bitching about their jobs. "My boss is terrible" or "my co-worker gossips about me." Its not like I discuss how one client tried to gag me with his penis or another client was 30 minutes late and didn't tip. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.



Back at the ho support group, we can talk candidly about clients, the industry and other call girls. Its nice to have an outlet (much like this blog is for me) for work frustration, honesty and even the social aspect of co-workers. Everyone wants to know if we talk about the clients. Yes, but generally only if we catch a client in a lie or the client does something so incredibly stupid or weird. Example, I had a client literally rub one out on my leg. I felt like I was being humped by a dog. Who can I talk to about that and will understand? My "co-workers," I love those hos!!!

Why being a call girl...

makes me a modern day feminist. Now I'm sure there are a large number of people who would disagree. I, in no way, advocate human trafficking or the drug abuse sometimes associated with low level streetwalkers. What really irritates me is our governments blatant lack of respect for the prostitution industry. They say that I am allowed to freely have sex, protected or unprotected, with as many partners as I want as long as no one pays me for it. They are essentially placing laws on what I can and can't do to MY body. Instead of viewing legalization as way to cure several problems, they want to hold fast to laws that should have been legalized long ago.

Legalization would bring reform to the industry. Firstly, men will always have sex for money. I can't begin to understand it and certainly can't explain why. My only reasoning is that it is easier to deal with a professional and know what to expect then to have some girl approach them at dinner with their family. Trying explain the hot blond to their wife would be difficult. With me, we don't know each other outside the confines of the room. I'm not here to date them or make them leave their wife and I won't go crazy when they don't call.

Now back to legalization, since men will always have sex for money, why not use this industry to implement strict health standards like in Nevada and allow another revenue source to be added to the tax base. Sounds great right? If only there was a way to tell the men in Washington that I can do whatever I want with my own body! Yes, this is the next front for feminism.

Everyone gets a nickname....

There are simply too many clients with the same names. I'm great at remembering faces, not so much with names. To remedy this problem every client gets a nickname. There's boat Bob, Air traffic controller Bob, contractor Bob and Bob Hart; but every now and then a client does something so unusual he gets a special nickname.

Case in point- The rubber band man. The rubber band man is a client that I have seen twice. Each time he has difficulty maintaining an erection. This could be due to several issues including blood pressure medicine, erectile dysfunction issues, nerves, etc. The rubber band man, as you may have guessed, brings a rubber band to every appointment. As torturous as it sounds, he wraps this rubber band around his penis to keep it hard thus giving him the nickname Rubber band man.

Then there is fat boy Troy who is a little bit over weight and has the school girl obsession and Little Drummer Boy who likes to beat his penis on my leg until he has an orgasm. Weird as it may sound, it proves that sex is not a "one size fits all." That ecstasy feeling comes to different people in different ways. Whether through humiliation, being dominated or just plain vanilla sex, we must always be open sexually to our partners needs.

There is a thin line between...

Client and escort. These lines, while should be clear, sometimes get crossed. Take my appointment last night with Daddy Dave. It was a dinner date at a 5 star resturaunt so needless to say it was very expensive. He has been a bit inconsiderate of my time. Trying to stretch more time for no money. In my line of work time=money. This is the point at which the inch becomes a mile and the client sees what he can get away with. A lot of times the client will try to rationalize this by the price of the dinner or some other added value thing. This is the point at which I need to determine if the client is trainable or if I should cut him loose. This process is a lot like determining whether or not you want to continue dating someone.

Pros: He buys me gifts and takes me to nice resturants.
Cons: Doesn't pay market rate when pushing for extra time. Slightly over emotional when it comes to me.

Result: Talk to him next time and give it one more chance. If no improvement...cut him loose.

The client has to remember its not personal its business. This is obviously a hard concept due to the personal nature of our business; but necessary. My time is my money!!!